This dedicated Community Forum has been organised to answer some of the many questions received, from everyday psychology to metaphysics. Please use this form to submit any questions, comment on existing topics, or open up a discussion on a subject of your interest.
Q. You wrote in a recent article about energy dynamics. Does this apply to narcissists?
A. Narcissism, ironically, as it’s ‘all about them’, is a refusal to look at their ‘bad’ or in analytical psychology terms, their shadow self. They see themselves as perfect in the mirror but the mirror lies. In only seeing a glorified image of themselves, their good (actually their fake ego ideal good), they are in fact unwittingly putting unconcious energy into their bad … which then fuels their bad behaviour.
Q. How do you leave a violent person?
A. Once violence has appeared in a relationship, it will continue to appear unless the person exhibiting the behaviour enters a course of behavioural therapy, or you leave. Violent people like to dominate and control others by the use of excessive force and threats. Given the propensity, violent people usually cannot themselves handle the amount of force that comes through them (although this is rarely confessed). For any man or women in a violent relationship, unfortunately the only safe way to leave is to quietly and slowly organise your departure plan and then follow the plan swiftly without any deviation or return. Sadly, some who return face horrible consequences. The original attachment fracture that created the violent outbursts in the first place, suddenly reappears and expels onto others. It’s very drastic on the violent person to suddenly disappear, but in ‘rage mind’, they are unlikely to sit down and calmly allow their partner’s departure. The violence can be so severe, that the partner is killed, rather than let walk away. The partner would then need to become completely invisible with no more contact, ever, changing mobile phones and addresses etc.
Q. What do you think about hypnosis?
A. In the 18th Century, Franz Mesmer developed ‘mesmerism’, claiming that he was able to cure people by the use of animal magnetism. Hypnotism works along the same lines, in that the therapist aims to access the subconscious mind to effect a cure. It is possible to access someone’s unconscious mind using these techniques, however, the results vary. This is due to both the skill of the therapist and the mind of the client. Generally, all psychoanalytic and many modern-day therapies aimed at curing psychological dis-ease, aim to cathect (heal) a memory or wound that is in the subconscious mind, without the ego or reasoning mind interfering with or blocking the process.
Q. How do we keep from not being seduced?
A. Seduction is a very powerful method of influence that someone aims to have over another and unlike violence, it is not easy to see, or feel, but it can be equally devastating to the victim. Usually, the seducer anesthetises the victims ego by flattery and an act of fake humility or support, until such time as they want to cash in or extract energy. There are four ways to hopefully avoid being seduced; 1) consider that you can be 2) know where you might be 3) ask a friend to oversee things from their safe distance and 4) importantly, we must return every day to right thinking.
Q. I’m married but I’m attracted to other women, is this wrong?
A. Some cultures do consider even the thought of desiring another as a betrayal, however, we are human and our human nature must not be suppressed, because that is when problems occur. It is not at all ‘wrong’ to find someone other than our partner attractive, sometimes it’s because they represent a part of our own personality that we want to move toward and explore. Rather, create open and honest dialogue with your spouse, if possible. Some couples share with each other if their eye is taken by an attractive person, they use it as a bonding method, and ‘in joke’ just between them. That way the thought is shared and dissolved in the light of honesty.
Q. What did Hegel mean when he writes; “what is rational is actual and what is actual is rational”
A. The rational is the conscious mind, which we perceive … or rather, often misperceive as actual. The actual mind, the superconscious, is rational. ‘Actually’, where there are no misperceptions.
Q. I want to study Criminology and Forensic Psychology, and work in that environment. Do you have any advice?
A. I would encourage any student exploring the depths of the mind to form a sound educational foundation first before philosophical thought. Begin in Social Psychology, then Psychology proper, proceeding to Psychoanalysis. You will see that none of these are apparently a direct route into Forensic Psychology … but that’s the difference in a bottom up education, where ones desire to reason clouds their perception, and a top down analyser, where real understanding offers insightful profiles. If of interest, here is the link to study core psychology; https://carolesawo.com/study-psychology/. As lots of students at University additionally attend my Forensic classes, I’m consistently told that their degrees do not cover the content of my courses. Even a student with a degree in Criminology, had no real understanding of the mind, let alone the dark side of it. My Forensic Psychology course will soon be made available in the next few months online.